-

The Bellman himself they all praised to the skies—Such a carriage, such ease and such grace!Such solemnity, too! One could see he was wise,The moment one looked in his face!
He had bought a large map representing the sea,Without the least vestige of land:And the crew were much pleased when they found it to beA map they could all understand.
“What’s the good of Mercator’s North Poles and Equators,Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?”So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply”They are merely conventional signs!
“Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes!But we’ve got our brave Captain to thank:(So the crew would protest) “that he’s bought us the best—A perfect and absolute blank!”
This was charming, no doubt; but they shortly found outThat the Captain they trusted so wellHad only one notion for crossing the ocean,And that was to tingle his bell.
Lewis Carroll, The Hunting of the Snark